Bing This

"But It's Not Google." That's the snarky derivation that Net wags are giving to Microsoft's new Bing search engine. Micro hopes to take yet another run at Google, the monster, killer Web app that has become a global verb. And, according to the New York Times, Steve Ballmer hopes the name will 'verb up,' just like Google did.

Will it work this time? Go to Bing.com (I got there the usual way, by Googling it) and you'll get -- not a search engine, but a video ad for the coming attraction. And here's the promise: Bing doesn't just deliver results, it delivers what you need to make decisions: comparisons, drilldown links, groupings, options.

But wait. Isn't that Yahoo? Before Google, Yahoo was the go-to search page because it provided you with an edited catalog of relevant results. I'd argue that Google beat this not just because its results were more frequently updated, but because they weren't pre-edited. And they were fast. The Google results page can be scanned quickly and easily, then fine-tuned through another lightning-quick search. Users find what they want incrementally through dialog, kind of the way a learning brain likes to work, rather than by being presented with a single, complicated click-splat layout of pre-filtered results. We know where the market went, and where it has stayed.

But then I'm an old geezer. Maybe the kids can handle more stuff on the screen than I can. Maybe they're not incremental, dialog-based searchers. Maybe they like click-splat. Maybe Bing will deliver the bling that MicroSoft is looking for. Maybe.

Good luck.

Companies need to remember: Twitter is a two-way Tweet

Now that Facebook is worth billions again, and Twitter is so hot that it's attracting scammers, it might be time to take them seriously as channels for corporate marketing messages.

When I was at the Big Corporation we took the easy route with Twitter: used it to rebroadcast our RSS feeds -- news releases, Web site updates, etc. It was easy to set up and worked like a charm.

But.

But I always felt that it was a little TOO easy. And I wondered if our followers were actually reading the tweets. But, hey, it didn't cost anything, so what's the harm?

Here's the perfect commentary on how to use Twitter in a corporate, or in this case, a municipal setting, without coming off as a mindless Twit. Blogger Stan Schroeder's short and funny case study on how the Boston Police Department uses Twitter as an online police scanner makes a great point: it's not only about getting the news out there, it's about humanizing your organization by listening to your audience.

Despite Twitter's primary function as a broadcast medium, don't forget that it's a two-way channel. The gold comes when you put something out there that compels a follower to Tweet back. And the real payoff is about how you handle that. If the straight-faced cops in Boston can loosen up online, maybe you can, too. You should.

Unpack those Beanie Babies and PEZ toys

Expect a surge in eBay traffic next year. Former president/CEO Meg Whitman is writing a memoir in preparation for her planned California gubernatorial bid in 2010. It's expected to publish in February. According to the New York Times, the book will be less about the online auction icon and more about Whitman's personal values. Oh boy.

Hey, good luck, Meg. But I'm hoping to cash in on the cases of old cameras, fishing equipment and (still) unsold Beanie Babies I drag out every once in a while when things get slow.

Here are a couple gems from the eBay Wikipedia entry:

• The story that eBay was founded to sell PEZ collectibles is a PR myth
• The first item sold on eBay was a broken laser pointer
• eBay entrepreneurs have tried to sell the parts for a cruise missile, a complete F/A 18 Hornet, and an entire aircraft carrier, with varying success
• Last year during the Icelandic financial meltdown, someone put the entire island up for sale on eBay. Bjork was not included.
• It's unclear at this point whether Whitman's book will be available on eBay

Mad Men: the lost script

Congrats to the Pittsburgh Ad Federation for their successful Mad Men event, held at the Left Field space of Smith Brothers Agency on the North Side last night. Way too much alcohol, not enough Lucky Strikes. In other words, the evening was as perfect as Basket of Kisses.

While we were busy gobbling up things wrapped in bacon, a well-worn typescript fell to the floor from the briefcase of someone standing nearby. I didn't recognize the guy -- he was wearing a fedora, a skinny black tie, and the shiniest shoes I've ever seen on a man. I picked up the papers to hand them back to him, but he had vanished.

Anyhow, it turned out to be a script for the upcoming season of the hit AMC show. I share a piece of it with you, because I know that you, too, are a hopeless fan:

OPEN on ROGER STERLING staring into camera. Small beads of sweat stand out on his well-tanned forehead and drip from the edges of his perfectly cut silver hair. Roger lights up a Lucky Strike and blows a forceful and tense puff into the camera. Pull back to reveal DON DRAPER standing behind him.

ROGER STERLING (as DON DRAPER lights up a Lucky Strike): Don, I got a call from IBM today. They want to change their media spend. They're pulling it off of television and putting it into something ... something they're calling "The Internet"

DON DRAPER: Internet?

ROGER STERLING (turns to face DON DRAPER. Mixes himself a Rusty Nail): Yeah. Never heard of it. They're telling me it's like television, only you can watch all the porn you want with it.

DON DRAPER (picking up a bottle of Old Granddad on the credenza): Porn? What about Bonanza? What about the Loretta Young Show? What about Dick Van Dyke? They're pulling huge share for these guys. And the "Think" slogan. We billed 20 million for that. We focus grouped the hell out of it, and that messaging is solid. Christ, Roger, I've got John Cameron Swayze lined up for the next flight of sixties. It's gonna cost us to pull out now.

ROGER STERLING: Who cares about Hoss and Little Joe when you can get a look at Marilyn Monroe's ta-tas for free? They say that what we're doing is not moving the iron, Donny. They're saying we dropped the ball. They're saying YOU dropped the ball.

DON DRAPER (pours himself a third Sidecar): Come on Roger, someone's blowing smoke up their asses. They're not talking about moving the business, are they? I can control this.

ROGER STERLING (stubbing out his cigarette, lights up a pipe): I don't know what they're telling you, but I saw Tom Brown having drinks at Delmonico's the other night with two suits from Google, Jobs and Gore. Way too buddy-buddy for us to feel comfortable about it. You had damn well better control it.

PEGGY OLSON appears in office doorway in a starched cotton blouse, carrying a stack of folders

PEGGY OLSON: I'm sorry to interrupt, Mr. Sterling, but you said you wanted these survey results right away.

DON DRAPER (lights another Lucky, glares at Peggy): Peggy, this is not a good time.

ROGER STERLING: No, it's all right. We're just about done. Wait a minute, Peggy, didn't we just send this out this morning? How'd you get results so fast?

PEGGY OLSON: Survey Monkey. On the Internet.

DON DRAPER (sloshing his drink): Monkey?

ROGER STERLING: Don, why don't you shut up and pour yourself another Grasshopper.

PEGGY OLSON (lights up a Lucky): Roger, there's something else I think you should have a look at. It's called "YouTube."

DON DRAPER: Tube?

On the Internet, nobody knows you're not Ben Roethlisberger

Businesses struggling to find a workable strategy for social networking can learn from the story in today's Post-Gazette about the Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger. Some Internet hoser posing as Big Ben started a rumor that the quarterback has skin cancer. The story ping-ponged around the usual social sites -- Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, etc., forcing Ben and the Steelers to issue a public denial and sending Ben's agency out to try to get the inaccurate content pulled.

The lesson? You're not in charge. Not only can you not control the conversation; you can't even control your identity.

Roethlisberger has his own official NFL web site, but does not have social network accounts. I mean, who's got the time?

Companies like SouthWest Airlines and Murphy-Goode winery are hiring full-time Twitterers to build online followings for their brands (thanks for the reference, Scotty).

Big Ben doesn't really need to do that. He just needs a little Defense.

Rocket science made chimp simple: 10 web-building tips from the New York Times

I was going to write a white paper on basic business Web best practices, but some wise guy at the New York Times has already done it. Check it out. It's focused on blogs, but most of these ideas about search optimization, link strategy and using the Web's free social networking tools apply to any Web site .... including your business Web. These are the basics, and they are things you can do yourself. Are you doing them all?

Creative Briefing, by the way, gets a C minus when measured against this list. My portfolio site, admittedly a work in progress, fails miserably. The boss has some work to do.

Will the last one leaving MySpace please turn out the lights.

The blogs have been talking about it for months (years, actually. Today, a new forecast from eMarketer predicts that social network ad spending in 2009 will drop, despite growth in Facebook spending, due mainly to a crash in MySpace share.

Blogger Jason Miller sums it up pretty well: "If it's lucky, MySpace is the new Yahoo. If unlucky, and it is unlucky lately, MySpace is AOL. Facebook has supplanted it, and will continue to do so."

Did Rupert Murdoch do it? Did Facebook do it? Did the kids do it? Did their parents and grandparents do it? Too ugly, too porny, or just too old?

Love to hear your thoughts.

That is, if you're not to busy Facebooking.